Here we are!

Baby Esme is about to turn 7 months--in about 3 days. It's wonderful & I miss her terribly all of the seconds that I am away from her. I definitely elieve women should have a year off to spend with their babies--12 weeks is just not enough time. As it turns out Esme is a pretty small baby. She is still at the 13% for weight, though she did end up getting longer. It's even harder to leave a tiny baby behind, only because they are so fragile. In retrospect, now that she is 14-15 lbs, it still seems weird to remember her at only 7 lbs. It took us 12 weeks to get her up to 9 lbs, and she was always drowning in her 3 month clothes. Thank goodness for the newborn sizes! Here's a recap of her last several months: Day 1 home from the hospital happened around 2-3 PM. The radio was playing "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes" on the drive home, which I found adorable. The whole world seemed different to us, everything was white, there was no traffic, and the house had somehow altered upon our return back home. We decided pretty quickly that I would just stay up with the baby at night when she cried, because it really wasn't worth it to make both people tired when only one person can meet the baby's needs. And that was me! We were able to get a really decent latch going when we got home & nursing didn't hurt at all. (Still nursing now, at 7 months, though I must supplement with formula a lot) I still recall that odd feeling of isolation on the first night, though. Dan was asleep, I'd turned off all of the lights, and then...waited for my turn to sleep. I vowed that I would always keep the baby in her back, in the crib, and never co-sleep, but even by night 2 I realized this was futile. Around week 4 or 5, we figured out side by side nursing and never really gave it up. Esme just kept nursing and nursing and nursing, even when it seemed like she was asleep, her jaw was still munching. Even when other people held her in her sleep, she was still munching. I figured I'd place her in her bassinet for her 2 hour long nighttime snoozes, but she instantly woke up as soon as placed down. But I could hardly complain about holding a sleeping baby and keeping her close to me. And still, it was lovely. On our second or third day, a visiting nurse came to the house to weigh the baby and examine her. I showed her the latch & Esme's sleeping habits, and it seemed that Esme was still swallowing milk, even though she was asleep. So I continued to nurse her, even if she wasn't eating, because I didn't have a way to tell if she was eating or not. Esme never really adjusted to the bottle--we waited until 4 weeks of age to try----and she hated it. We tried again and again and again, and she would scream and cry and fight, until I gave up and nursed her. Consequently, I learned how to nurse in a lot of new places: The bank The skyway Front seat of the car on the toilet every restaurant, etc But it was still lovely. Esme gained compliments and attracted people wherever she went, including 1) Grocery store, where someone asked if she was a real baby 2) Ice cream parlor, where a woman could not get over her perfect features and perfectly shaped round head 3) doctor's office, where a woman in a wheelchair desperately wanted to hold her 4) Mall of America, where many, many people admired her again 5) any place at all, where people would tell her that she was the cutest baby they'd seen that day, more beautiful than the other babies, and confide in us that not all babies are cute, but we were able to get a cute one. I often heard that she looks just like me. On the second week, I stared at her so much--she really did look like me as a baby. A lot. It was unsettling to hold yourself as a child, to be honest. But still it was lovely. My biggest memories back then were 1) How bulky I was--I am still 1 lb away from pre-pregnancy weight and thus lumbered around like a whale. 2) How small she was 3) How lonely I seemed, without a TV to watch while nursing, i was just watching junk on Netflix. I quickly tired of the selection and gave up & cancelled my subscription. I managed to catch a few things, though, like "House of Cards" on Netflix. awesome show. And even now, Esme is still lovely.