Monday, May 17, 2010

...and the holy grail

I'm not sure what specifically gives MY life meaning. I know other people find it through their kids or their work or their hobbies, or religion or even nationalism. But I haven't yet. Some hobbies are fun, but mostly I just clean the house, watch stupid stuff on the internet and read. It's hard to feel attachment to these things. Of course, sometimes literature provides meaning, or illuminates it, but mostly it confirms for me that life is arbitrary. Maybe it's the books I'm choosing. :)

Maybe my life has a lot more meaning then I've been allowing for though, too. So here's some stuff that I like and perhaps that will help me nail it down.
-like improving the house and lawn
-like the volunteer work we do within the neighborhood
-like the people in my life, though perhaps I don't show enough appreciation for them
-LIKE MONEYYYYY. Yes, it's true. I love the green stuff. I want to make more of it. I want it to be fruitful and multiply so I can do the dumbest things with it. Man, superficial indeed.

It's just that I don't do the value-added stuff enough and instead spend a lot of time working and sleeping. Or maybe that's just the last weekend.
I need to write more, develop myself more, take more time away from work. yessss.

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