I thought perhaps that the last email might have actually been written by my dad, but again, when I review it, I don't think it's him writing the entire email. I think the first part might be him, but I don't think the last part is. For one, he'd never call me smart.
So I was thinking about writing back, but really, it's just a waste of energy, akin to talking to a wall or screaming at the ocean or trying to get an ex-boyfriend to understand your side years later.
Instead, I'll just set the record straight for my mind, so at least I'll remember the truth.
1) My sister hasn't sent Bonnie any provoking texts at all and sent nothing before the message about "I'm going to have your Dad's real child." The day before Bonnie sent those messages was Prom for my sister and she didn't have anything to do with my dad at all before, after or during Prom. Bonnie has texted things like that before to my sister, out of the blue, to get my sister to say something back so it looks like my sister instigated the text message warfare. At any rate, my Dad is basically saying in the last message that Bonnie is allowed to send any type of hateful text to my sister at any time and he doesn't care. Sounds classy, doesn't it?
2) I didn't ask my dad to come to KC to meet Bonnie and I left it as a closely guarded secret for over a month. Right before Thanksgiving-ish, my mom thought that Bonnie might have been pregnant back then, but she wasn't. I was defending Bonnie to my mom, insisting that she wasn't pregnant. Then my mom said, "How do you know?" and I said, "Because I've seen her." Oops. Of course that upset my mom, and she abruptly hung up on me.
Sort of an experience of being stuck in the middle.
3) My friend pointed out that when people are divorced and they both have children, information regarding the other spouse is going to flow back and forth. It's not possible to cut off contact with the other spouse entirely when you have children together. So what information did I provide, as some sort of spy? Does my dad even recognize how hated I was by my mother because I even bothered to still talk to him? Does he realize how many people I really did defend him to?
Oh well.
At any rate, it is funny that my mom knew that Bonnie was pregnant before my Dad did, but I had nothing to do with that. And I wasn't asking my Dad if he was having a kid just to tell my mom. I was asking because I thought it was quite queer for him to have a child at this age, especially for me to have another sibling.
Evidently these things are super secret knowlege:
1) My dad buying a house
2) My dad getting remarried
Did I tell them any other information? Nope. Did I have any other information? Nope.
I've always been more like my father than my mother, but at this point, I must just be happy that I'm not like either of them. When Dan and I actually do have children, I'll never disown my children for any reason. I'll never treat them the way both of my parents have treated me. It took so long for me to be sure that I could say that with confidence, but now I can.
I think the most ironic part is that both my Dad and I want to have children that can be given a happy life. It's just that I'm pretty sure he doesn't stand a chance of that, with all of the bitterness that seems to permeate his emails.
How does someone turn 50 years old and still end up none the wiser? I used to think my Dad would mellow out and be nicer at 50, but no cigar.
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