I can heeeaaarr yooouuuu

Yes, yes, I can.

I'm getting ready to go to my sister's graduation party, our last event on 1126 for awhile. It's the only house my sister can remember and the only time I remember having people there is for grad parties. The funny thing is, I can hear my grandma's voice, talking about what we need to do to get ready for the party. I can hear her telling me that I need to do all of this cooking or cleaning or something. I can hear it and it's weird, the ony thing we talked about at the last party was CD rates and played cards. We will expect her there tomorrow, but it will just be her ghost. 

Regardless of who is there in the past or extraterrestrial or imaginary, this party is going to be pretty darned fun, I can say that much for sure. My sister's friends are funny as hell.

Flowers at work

Ring Ring
This is the florist calling. We have a delivery for you!

Me:But it's not even my anniversary. Or my birthday? I turned to my coworkers: Do you really think someone would delivery flowers to me TWICE? (earlier this year I had a mysterious delivery, which later revealed itself)

So I went downstairs and there was the most beautiful bouquet of flowers of bright pink, bright yellow, deep purple and blue. All in vase, for me.

From the senior vice president.  For a job well done.
I went back upstairs and found 50 emails congratulating me for implementing a moment of the core values at work. And one email from the senior vice president, who sent an email to everyone in the building today telling them about my job well done.

The VP sends one message a week, and I was the good employee this time. She doesn't feature employees in her email messages very often, so I feel even more special.
But really, I was just lucky. The right person at the right time intersected with me and was happy. God bless them.

All things considered

MIT

My friend just got her MBA. From MIT. God, I feel stupid.

I'm having an mental debate between pushing myself to get my MBA and study or just resting for a little bit longer.


Reasons for MBA-

Tons of jobs in my company require it and my advancement opportunities then skyrocket
I would probably learn something
It would be mostly free through work

Reasons for not getting my MBA
studying for the GMAT isn't that much fun
I'd feel really stupid
I have to re-explain the classes that I failed while in my funk
I'd have zero--literally--zero free time
I'm still feeling pretty exhausted
I don't think I can handle the stress of it right now


That's it. I am beating myself up about the stress part of it. Having the mental debate about whether or not I should push myself and feel stressed out or if I should just enjoy life right now.  I definitely spent the last 3 years of my life living under a cloud of stress. Sometimes people mention an event that I was attending and all I can remember was feeling stressed out while I was there. Why? Because I knew I should have been working hard on something else that was either at my second job or volunteering.
Or I can't remember being there at all--and it's because I wasn't--I was back at home working instead.

Part of me wonders if this problem would just be resolved if I had a Xanax prescription. I think about going to the doctor sometimes,  it's been about 4 years since I last visited any type of doctor and about 6 since I had any type of exam.  I'd just beg for Xanax and explain my antsy, stressed out emotions. 

I don't want work to overwhelm my life but I also don't want to feel lazy and lame, either.  Someone just shoot me!!

Cafeteria

This bar has decorated walls with colorful cafeteria trays from your elementary school.  Yes, your elementary school. It also has a huge rooftop patio full of preps that get mad when others cut in the bathroom or for the line to the elevator. It has $10.00 mohitos and cotton candy and walleye fritters. Evidently now that it's summer, things are full of walleye here.

I caught myself nearly asking someone that works in the sales department of General Mills when their stock price would go back up. Complete stranger. Yep. Good idea to ask her about the stock price of her company while at a bar on Friday night when she's clearly trying to pick up men. Great idea.

We ate cotton candy, celebrated Lee's birthday, met her phantom boyfriend and had a lovely time. I heart MN and I'm glad we have entered permanent summer, where we will go camping three times and tomorrow, I'm going to the beach.
The water will be too cold, but what the hell. I hope the baby Scarlett likes it.

Dessa poetry reading

here it comes.... I should go now.

I will not let work rule my life, I will not let work rule my life. I will stop obsessing about work. I will stop obsessing about work.

William Butler Yeats

Reposted here!

Share | Sailing To Byzantium

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I That is no country for old men. The young In one another's arms, birds in the trees ---Those dying generations---at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas, Fish, flesh, or fowl commend all summer long Whatever is begotten, born, and dies. Caught in that sensual music all neglect Monuments of unaging intellect. II An aged man is but a paltry thing, A tattered coat upon a stick, unless Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing For every tatter in its mortal dress, Nor is there singing school but studying Monuments of its own magnificence; And therefore I have sailed the seas and come To the holy city of Byzantium. III O sages standing in God's holy fire As in the gold mosaic of a wall, Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre, And be the singing-masters of my soul. Consume my heart away; sick with desire And fastened to a dying animal It knows not what it is; and gather me Into the artifice of eternity. IV Once out of nature I shall never take My bodily form from any natural thing, But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make Of hammered gold and gold enamelling To keep a drowsy Emperor awake; Or set upon a golden bough to sing To lords and ladies of Byzantium Of what is past, or passing, or to come.