This is the year

I swear, the year 2011 will be the year that many of our remaining single friends get married. It will also be the year that many other people make their turn into age 30, with fabulous parties and celebrations.

My guess is that most of us will be so inebriated we can't remember most of 2011, which is just how I hope it works.

The white german shepherd was put to sleep today. I'm definitely still in shock. I knew it was going to happen at some point, so I tried to prepare myself for it, but I am definitely afraid to face it. The white baby has been part of our family for 10 years and we had her with us for the last 4 weeks. I took her on her last walk, played the last games with her, gave her the last treats. I can't really believe this is it, that I didnt get to say goodbye or give her a final pet. I didnt even give her a normal goodbye because I thought I'd see her in the next week.
 This is how it always goes, the casual goodbyes with the creatures you love! We must all cherish each moment, truly.

Despite my best attempts to the contrary....

It's Christmas and I'm reading about Bikini Atoll islands. Naturally, I can't share this with other people, because it elicits the disgusted query, "Why are you talking about nuclear testing on Christmas?"

My answer: "I don't know why, it popped up on some foreign policy link I clicked on and now I can't stop."

I even started my internet browsing with the search "How to focus on others", "How to purify your heart" and by watching Meet Me in St. Louis clips with Judy Garland on Youtube. (Ding ding ding goes the trolley....)


A few days ago, I had a Christmas breakthrough. Some ladies invited me to a night of Cloud Cult documentary watching and the best cooking of brown rice peanut butter soup. I haven't confessed to them yet that my husband is the massive music adorer and I am merely the poser, but I think they'll understand when I eventually reveal the truth. The movie though, was really pure spirited and about leaving the world with a more positive spirit, more genuine and enthusiastic place than it was before you encountered that specific moment in time.   Yes, these things are cliche, but the frontman of Cloud Cult is really living this principle. I was inspired about doing the same with my training class of new hires that when I started walking back to the car, I was so devoted to fulfilling this dream that I'd walked 3 blocks past the car, and I didn't have my scarf, my gloves, my hat and it was below zero.

I don't attend church on Christmas any longer. The message though, sometimes finds its way to us in the most unusual format.  I could, of course, spend several minutes discussing why I don't think the message from Cloud Cult matches the message of Christianity, and I've become disenchanted with parts of Christmas in the first place, but it is 12/25 after all, and some things should remain sacred, even if I choose to read about the Bikini Atoll. 67 nuclear tests on The Marshall Islands....

Famous Blue Raincoat

I've been waiting for the end of December to post this:

It's 4 in the morning
the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living.

There's music on Clinton street all through the evening
I hear that youre building your little house deep in the desert
you're living for nothing now

I hope you're keeping some kind of record.

Jane came by with a lock of your hair, she said that you gave it to her the night htat you planned to go clear.
Did you ever go clear?

Oh, the last time we saw you, you looked so much older. Your famous blue raincoat was torn at shoulder. You'd been to each station to meet every train, and you came home without little Marlene.


Blah blah, you know the song, you've read the words. I think that whenever I do begin to write, it will be this song that perhaps fills me with inspiration. Ever feel like everything awesome has already been done and you have little to contribute?

Boots with the fur, with the fur

Holy hell. Minnesota girls dress up. A lot. I used to do that in college, but in the last 3 years in KC, I've grown out of it. We'll toss on our jeans and walking street shoes, meander over to Westport and have a drink or two without thinking twice. Yes, the primpy girls would walk by in their semi-skanky outfits, but it was always clear they were out of place. My lecturer in college said it right: Kansas is Cowboy. While we really didn't go out that much in Kansas, in Missouri, you can still wear 'jorks" and not be too out of place. After all, the FFA still havs their annual convention there each year.


So for 2 Friday nights, we've gone out to a bar, sat down, and I've looked down and realized that 1) my purse is sooooo 5 years ago and 2) Nobody wears pink adidas shoes to the bar here. Ok, I can deal with that, right? Wrong. I have forgotten how to walk in heels. I've forgotten how to walk in heels in the snow. I've forgotten how to deal with the cold for 5 minutes by leaving my coat in the car.

Growing up or in college, I could do these things back in Iowa without any problem. Hell, we used to walk a mile to the bars in heels. Here, now, at my old age? No way! I'm so country, it hurts.

So yes, this is what getting old feels like. I'm sure by next winter, I'll be back in action. New shoes, new outfits, new low balance in the checking account after my shopping sprees.

Skiing has finally happened

Went out to Buckhill today, for about 1.5 hours. Brrr! I got there and then realized that I had forgotten my ski poles. DUH. It's been awhile since I went poleless and didn't quite trust my sense of balance, so I rented some for $5. The lift ticket was cheap, the runs were ridiculously easy (and that's not me being arrogant, it's just a small hill with 2 black diamonds that are blue squares on any other mountain) and I made it back without freezing to death. I guess it was only 0 degrees outside. Was hard to pass up skiing on 18 inches of fresh snow on a Sunday night, even though our friends talked me out of going earlier in exchange for dinner. 

First Minnesotaaaahhh Blizzard

Here it is, our first Minnesota  blizzard. Up to 20 inches of snow.  24 hours of nonstop snow. We drove in it for 2 miles yesterday and decided that since we already had a stock pile of groceries, booze, and endless work to do around the apartment, that we just wouldn't leave the house.

Bus service is suspended, SUVs are stuck, the light rail stopped, snow plows were ordered off the street and the dogs romped all over the snow like bunnies and then got really tired after 5 minutes.

Famous Last Words!

I remember after living in the house for a few years that I said I couldn't go back to an apartment. And I definitely couldn't go back to house-share, where one person rents a room in a house and doesn't have a place to put their own furniture. I think I coudn't go back to house-share, unless I had a place for some of my own furniture pieces. However, I've found apartment living really isn't so bad.

In some ways, it's more peaceful, to have the kitchen and TV room on the same level. I still have to go down the stairs early in the morning to let the dogs outside, but I had to do that in our house, too. I still have a garage for storing my stuff, I can't hear my neighbors, and I like having less space to clean. This is working out ok so far. Relief.

The Hunger Games

Mentioned it before, but man, these books are awesome. It's a trilogy for young adults, but I think actual adults will like it quite a bit. A girl living in the future version of Appalachia participates in the new society's annual ritual: 1 boy and 1 girl from each of the 12 districts in the country must go into a man-made arena and fight to the death. The winner gets fame, fortune, and an awesome way out of poverty. But it's not like survivor, it's more like The Giver or another negative utopia that draws you in. I was worried that it would be gory, brutal and disgusting, but the deaths are mostly glossed over, luckily. It's awesome, and I think I finished all 3 in about 10 days.

If you rent or check out these books, you won't put them down. Be prepared to have a second Harry Potter level of engrossment.

Speaking o Harry Potter: Our Manila employees all had to have the Friday after Thanksgiving off because they all wanted to go see Harry Potter 7. 

I'm sort of torn. At first, I wanted to go to Manila. Then I didn't want to go, because it's really, really stressful and you work in the middle of the night, away from your family for 6 weeks.
But now I am going back to wanting to do it. Here's hoping!