Book 5: Game of Thrones

I don't want to say that this is the best book series I've ever read.
But this is the best book series I've ever read.

Way better than LOTR. Better than Twilight. Better than The Hunger Games and the Cat series. Better than the bloodhound killer books, better than Stephen King's Dark Tower series. And better than the Sue Grafton novels, in fact, though they have a certain appeal when you're only 15 and in Japan. The books are better than VC Andrews, which I secretly read in junior high, too. They might even be better than Harry Potter. The HP series is great, but it is written for kids. These books are darker, with more intrigue, character development and less overwhelming didactic moments.

It's not literature, classic or otherwise, it's  guilty pleasure, escapist stuff. Loosely based on War of the Roses, the books have a more realistic war aspect to them. Things don't always work out for the better, the good guy doesn't always win, and you can't always tell who the real "good guy" is. It's challenging, because there are more characters than a Chekhov novel and all of them have their own nicknames and histories. But they're great. I've plowed through 4 so far and just started book 5. Our main characters from book 3 are back, and it was oddly reassuring to "see" them again.

Yep, I'm a total nerd sometimes. But go read these books. The kindle price won't be discounted for awhile b/c of the TV series, but I promise they're worth the cost.

Oh, won't you stay/Just a little bit longer?

Oh, please please stay... (Dirty Dancing lyrics)

Yeah, they extended my trip to the Philippines. I was wondering how the heck we'd be able to teach everything we needed in only 6 weeks and they realized that, of course, it was crazy to expect people to learn a huge amount of material in only 6 weeks, so the class is now 9 weeks long. The 10th week will be our vacation, and Dan just bought his tickets to visit over the end of my stay. I'd love to post when I'm going and stuff, but figured we'd better not, since we'll have the new house in MN at the same time and I want to be sure it stays safe.

Speaking of the house: Everyone I talk to about the Philippines thinks that my trip means we're not buying a house. "But what about your house? Are you still buying it?" 

Answer: Yes. Yes, it's possible to travel for business AND buy a house, both at the same time. Luckily, our Realtor is from Manila and understands that this is an awesome opportunity, so I will just pre-sign everything for the close and grant Dan as my POA to sign for me while I'm gone.  Then poor Dan will move everything into the new house alone, which is not too different to me moving up here alone.

Good thing we got rid of most of our stuff, right?

There are some big things that I'll miss while I'm away, though. It breaks my heart to miss these things, indeed.

So here they are, in consecutive order:
-My sister's first 6 home football game as an ISU cheerleader
-Corey and Sarah's wedding in KC
-Our KC vacation
-The house close & subsequent move-in
-Our trip to a cabin up north with a bunch of friends
-My cousin Heather's wedding, which includes being a bridesmaid. Still not sure what to do with the dress. Should I wear it in Manila and video conference with everyone as if I were there? (*more on this later)
-Dan's first half marathon

-The house close & subsequent move-in
-Halloween party we were going to have

And that's about it. Who would have though 10 weeks of your life could have so many important events in it?

As official as it's going to get

It's about as official as it is going to get. My boss(es) enrolled me in the company credit card program with an exceptionally high limit for international travel, I got invited to an international travel meeting for tomorrow where we will talk about my visa, I know which hotel we're staying in and....BOOM. We'll be off in the air before we know it to Manila.

The hotel looks awesome, but I accidently left it at work. It has the name "joy" in it, though, so that should mean something. Looked through some photos at work and salivated over it, of course.
I am nervous, yes, but mostly excited.  Melody and I will come home completely exhausted but we both think it's worth it. Who cares if we're exhausted after 6-8 weeks overseas?

Being without Dan is going to be really tough. I know he can completely take care of himself, and I can take care of myself, but.... we are married and we want to be together. Work conversation today turned to the fact that both of us will be sans sex for 6 weeks and if we should get some kind of hazard pay. Ha ha ha. I am sure our poor men in uniform wouldn't pity me one bit.

Forgiveness?

"Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time - you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.” - Jon Bon Jovi

 I wouldn't normally quote Bon Jovi. But I did just spend the weekend with my aunt, who knows the entire story of my parent's divorce. We stayed up talking about it one night, where I repeated again that I am mostly OK with my dad telling me that I was dead to him and all of that junk about how I should never contact them again or come near his house again, etc. I mentioned that I harbor no love for the newest wife as I see her as being the person behind most of the malcious actions against me and my siblings and I primarily fault her for the "you are dead to me" statements.  After I said  few relatively harsh statements against the new wife, my aunt said that I needed to really let go of the malice that I had.


I said that I had no reason to do so, and she said that I needed to get to a point where I could pray for her and wish her the best, even though she has done/inspired malice against me.


I said, (to myself), that I didn't believe in prayer. 
Then I said, again, that I was ok with everything, but that I really wouldn't mind if any ill things came upon the new wife.


My aunt laughed and said I clearly didn't understand the prospect of forgiveness and prayer for my "enemies".


I guess that I still am just harboring hate and spite. If I forgive (again!!) am I just rolling over like a dog and letting people treat me poorly without apologizing?  Or am I enlightened like the Dalai Llama. Am I purusing a path towards peace, even if it means forgoing justice and an apology that I may deserve?


If I start to pray and wish better things for my dad's new wife, will that make me a better person? Will I find some enlightenment that I am not expecting? 


I wonder, wonder, wonder how many times I can re-re-re-re-re go through all of this bullshit on my blog?

MANILA

MANILA, Philippines.

I might go there for an entire month + a few extra days. Ok, really, it's about 6 weeks. My company is (might be/should be/is/most likely) sending me to the Phillipines. I'll be training new people and working in the middle of the night, Manila time.  It's hard to not burst out of my skin in excitement, but I am trying to remain calm. I am trying to remember that other people have been told they are going and then had their trip canceled (one person). I'm trying to remember that my boss said they can't afford to lose me in the State-side while I'm gone, but I am the best person for the job. Indeed, there are better candidates, but they aren't available to go in September, so it defaulted to me. Guess I just got really, really lucky that one guy has fall semester starting and one lady said that she can't leave her child again.


We renewed our passports last November, and I thought it was because we were going to go to Canada, but now it's Manila. Since I'll be gone for more than a month, my company will pay to send my spouse over with me. Did I mention that there are resorts in Philippines? Perfect island beaches?
My partner in crime, Melody, is going to be going on this trip with me and she called me tonight so we could spazz out about this trip together. She's filipino, so this trip will be like going home, and our conversation tonight went like this;
Me: !!!! EEEEE!!!!
Melody: EEEE!!!!EEEE
blah blah blah
Melody: Start saving your money now, because every weekend we are going to a different resort!

Uhh, yeah, saving my money. Starting now.

Women's Soccer

 It's on now. I just have to get my ass into downtown MNSP to watch it.  Poor Dan is stuck at work on a Sunday.

This is how I am repaid!

Time to settle our claim with our insurance company and buy the last few unreplaced DVDs and the last unpurchased item: The Video Camera. 

The Minnesota government shutdown continues. Today I heard that it might just stay shut down forever and ever and ever. Libertarians will celebrate universally.  Hannah Arendt would be so proud.

Today I decided that canceling Netflix is a good idea, since it sucks to watch their stuff and you can just get it on redbox anyway.  Today I also decided that it might be a good idea to grow up and stop moping at work. But I didn't decide this until 3:15 PM and I leave at 3:30 PM. I really need to snap out of my grumpiness about not getting promoted. I will try harder tomorrow.  I will conquer. I also decided that after 3 years, it was time to go to the doctor. I went in 08 to be sure that my poison ivy wasn't something worse and that was the last time I went. The last actual exam I had was probably sometime in 2006 or 2007, maybe after the semi-car accident thing happened.  After scanning through a long, long list of doctors that I didn't know, I decided to go back to Ankeny for my appointment. I've been going there (sort of) since 1998, so at least I don't have to repeat any medical questionaires. It's a little silly to drive 3 hours for a doctor's appointment, but I can see my family and stuff.


Game of Thrones book 5 came out today, in all it's glory. There are no Sansa Stark chapters in book 5,  as there were no Tyrion chapters in book 4. I'm skipping a big section of Book 4, with the hopes of going back to read more later.

This weekend my friend is coming from DC and I can't wait to do tons of fun stuff with her.  Did I mention that summer up here is a perfect zone of amazing weather and brillant skies and it stays light out until 10 PM? It's wonderful, it's true.

My great uncle Jack is not in very good shape. He lives up here in MN and my grandpa and aunt are driving up so that they can see us and say hello/goodbye to him before the time comes.  It doesn't seem real at all.

My weight!

My weight is out of control. Entirely. Completely. I can't stop eating and I can't make the weight issue better.

I thought that the marathon training would help, but I really just gained weight when I was done. Most of the time I skip breakfast, eat a bowl of soup for lunch and then eat Life Cereal for dinner.  I need to cut out eating all sweets at work and at friend's houses.

Yesterday was a pretty intense food day:
1 belgian waffle with whipped cream and syrup
2 plates of nacho chips and black bean salsa for lunch
vegetable salad
a couple handfuls of M&Ms
Strawberry dipped in chocolate
1 injara full of Eithiopian food
1/2 piece of cake and a glass of milk
2 glasses of wine

That's a lot of food, so it's pretty obvious why I'm struggling with my weight. Went for a 3.5 mile walk yesterday in the heat though, so I was hoping that would offset some of the calories, but it's not enough.
I just feel so bad about myself and I feel like I can't control the eating like other people can. I hate being this fat and I hate that I ran and gained weight for it.  I hate that I ran 3 days a week last summer and didn't lose weight. I'm not really sure if there's a medical reason for my weight gain or not. I don't have any symptoms of thyroid deficiency and I don't have any symptoms of PCOS.

First World Problems

 I've been trying to schedule a massage purchased via groupon for 2 months. Twice I've had my appt booked and someone has called to tell me they have to reschedule. Either someone else has cancelled and they want to move up my spot or the therapist  is going out of town, so I have to reschedule.  So I switch the time for them. Then they call to that they're sorry I missed the original time and have no record of their first call to tell me that the appointment was rescheduled. I don't even want this massage anymore! I yelled at them so much last time that they were going to give me the entire massage for free but now I don't even want to do that. I just want my stupid money back.

I am not sure why this massage has made me so angry. Maybe because I was looking forward to it after Grandma's marathon and they canceled. Maybe because it took 4 weeks for them to even fit me in. Maybe because the first time, when I had to cancel, they wouldn't stay 15 minutes later for me that night, even when I explained that my bus was running late. Maybe because other massage centers seem to be able to manage basic things like appointments and keeping them.

You have 400 Unread Messages

I knew that by the time my google account went to 400 unread messages, it was time. Time to delete a bunch of them and take control of my email. This would somehow be a good thing.

I thought I'd know the culprit of these unread emails: spam, twitter, youtube notices. Old Hyde Park stuff. Indeed, most of the stuff was from Hyde Park, but I found some of these old emails, too. I though they would be easier to read now, but not really.  I am sure we read all of these originally, since they were sent to multiple email addresses.  

Don Update:

Dr. Shreck wants him to come once a week for 4 more weeks of chemo, then he will have another PET scan to see if anything has spread.   After that, he will determine how often Don needs to do chemo.   He was very pleased with what the radiation has done in making his tumor so flat.  It still has a size in diameter of about 2" but is very flat - it might just be dead cancer cells - the PET scan will let us know.    Dr. Shreck has referred him to a wound care specialist at Methodist to try and help the wound drainage which will make him more comfortable.   He will see the radiation doctor on Friday to see if he needs to have another round of radiation or if we just do chemo.   

 

Sorry I still have to leave early the next 4 Wednesdays - hopefully he will get good PET scan results and we can reduce the number of treatments like we did last time.   Thanks again for your patience as we work through this.

 

I need to leave at 2:00 today to pick up Don from chemo.

 

Don Update: Hi siblings:

Had my treatment today.  It about wiped me out.  When I have them so
far apart they seem to be harder on me.  Getting better tonight
though.

Here is my treatment schedule:

   One three weeks from now.
   Once a month after that--we are not sure for how long.

I will not be having another PET scan unless something happens.  He
said that if the cancer re-occurs, it will be in the same place as
before.  So we will monitor it by watching the place on my scalp where
it started and in my neck where I had the cancerous lump.

The redness and pain behind my ear is from the new glasses I bought.
So I took them back, and they are going to try to get them replaced at
no cost.  That would be great.  I am currently using the glasses I had
before the new ones.

That is my update and I'm sticking to it.

Love,

Don

 

Well, your dad got the phone call from the appeals coordinator and they are still turning down the CyberKnife, saying that it is "experimental" for this particular type of tumor.     Your dad has a message into Dr. Deming to see if there's anything else we can try.   Your dad is also on the phone calling Medicare to see if he can still sign up and if it would cover this procedure or not.    I'll let you know what we find out.

 

Thanks again for calling today!!!!!!

 

Tammy 

 

Then I found some of these other emails: 

Hello family and friends,

 

Earl had his second chemo treatment today following a visit with his oncologist.

 

His doctor was quite pleased with the way Earl tolerated his first treatment.  Earl's comment was, " if I'm doing good, I'd hate to see the ones that aren't!"  Anyway, there will be another CT scan  in the next 2-3 weeks to see how the treatments are working.  His doctor will then adjust treatment accordingly.

 

He also had a flu shot today, so is feeling rather woozy tonight.  Based on past experience, the flu shot alone will keep him from feeling good anytime this weekend. 

 

Lab work today was in the acceptable range.  Some of the numbers are still below normal, but not alarmingly.

 

We'll see how he feels over the next couple of weeks.  He is really trying hard to eat enough food and drink enough fluid to maintain his health.  It's hard for him because he does not have any appetite at all and has struggled with it since his stomach surgery in '95.

 

Once again, we both thank all of you for you love and support.

 

Rodna

 

 

 

Respite, indeed

We're staying at Dan's mom's house this weekend so we can go to 80/35. We're also cat-sitting for the "cat that's afraid of everything."80/35 is much more fun. It's in downtown DSM, it that doesn't even look like downtown DSM during the fest. It's some other place, with fences, foodstands, beer tents and tons of people that are not dressed up like they're going to corporate American office today. This festival made me want a second tattoo, if only I knew which one to get or where to put it.  Dan promised me that this would be like a highschool reunion with all of the people that we actually wanted to see. In some ways, it was, if only because we saw our old friend.   We've completely lost touch, and just see each other every few years (mostly Dan sees her at 80/35) but this time I got to talk to her. Mostly we chatted with her mom, though, and it was lovely. The sad and scary thing was that her mom had uterine cancer and surgery and chemo. I didn't even know it had happened. Suddenly I was having flashbacks to Don's cancer and trying super hard to not freak out. The stupid thing about trying hard to not freak out is that you can't do it at a music festival where you should be The Happiest Person on Earth and Shut Up and Like the Music.

So I did. I shut up, I danced, I liked the music. I drove to Ames, watched some funny TV shows (more Archer, some other show by the writers of Archer & Sealab, Parks and Rec, babymama, and Comedy Central stand up with the guy from Parks and Rec) with some old college friends and realized that I really, really miss my college friends and ordering food at 1 AM.  The cable company is broken right now and one part of Frasier is on continuous loop. Kelsey Grammar is hugging Ros and shrieking "The like me!!" He's been doing that for about 2-3 hours for everyone that subscribes to that chanel. haha.

Our friend rents 1 bedroom in a house in Ames and the rest of the space is shared. Their cost: 1300/month plus utilities.
WTF? Our KC house is way nicer than that place and we don't charge close to that. $1300/month could pay our mortgage in Minnepolis, and our new house is going to be nicer than that. I need to become an Ames landlord to college kids. Good heavens.

Speaking of our Minneapolis house: yes, the inspection was fine. But I no longer have any faith in inspection companies. I have lost my hope with all legal contracts entirely. Waive right to lawsuit, arbitration only, we don't test for this or that or this or that or pretty much anything that would cause you to flip out and not buy the house. I should have done the damn inspection myself, with my limited experience and knowledge and I would have been better off. These people had never heard of copper theft nor understood ABS piping. Oh, naivete.

Yesterday I spent the day with my friend, Jodie, before going to 80/35. We discussed the naive people in our lives and mentioned how you can like them and be their friends, but you always wonder how they hell they've remained so sheltered. Perhaps it's not necessarily naivete, but just people that firmly believe in a sense of black and white and don't believe that sometimes there is no justice or heaven or hell or retribution. At the end of the day, we were saying goodbye and I practically started to cry. I haven't had a day with Jodie in 2 years and suddenly missed Iowa again, the way I used to miss it in 2007 through 2009. I missed my friends and I missed the city and I missed my family and the slower pace of life and oh god, is it really going to be 2 years before we do this again?

Oh, Iowa, you are the trap that I can never escape.