Forgiveness?

"Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time - you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.” - Jon Bon Jovi

 I wouldn't normally quote Bon Jovi. But I did just spend the weekend with my aunt, who knows the entire story of my parent's divorce. We stayed up talking about it one night, where I repeated again that I am mostly OK with my dad telling me that I was dead to him and all of that junk about how I should never contact them again or come near his house again, etc. I mentioned that I harbor no love for the newest wife as I see her as being the person behind most of the malcious actions against me and my siblings and I primarily fault her for the "you are dead to me" statements.  After I said  few relatively harsh statements against the new wife, my aunt said that I needed to really let go of the malice that I had.


I said that I had no reason to do so, and she said that I needed to get to a point where I could pray for her and wish her the best, even though she has done/inspired malice against me.


I said, (to myself), that I didn't believe in prayer. 
Then I said, again, that I was ok with everything, but that I really wouldn't mind if any ill things came upon the new wife.


My aunt laughed and said I clearly didn't understand the prospect of forgiveness and prayer for my "enemies".


I guess that I still am just harboring hate and spite. If I forgive (again!!) am I just rolling over like a dog and letting people treat me poorly without apologizing?  Or am I enlightened like the Dalai Llama. Am I purusing a path towards peace, even if it means forgoing justice and an apology that I may deserve?


If I start to pray and wish better things for my dad's new wife, will that make me a better person? Will I find some enlightenment that I am not expecting? 


I wonder, wonder, wonder how many times I can re-re-re-re-re go through all of this bullshit on my blog?